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Person: Hi, do you want pizza?
Person Nobody Likes: No. I'm being healthy. I'm not eating pizza because...
Everyone: Okay.
Person Nobody Likes: It looks so good, but the calories--
Everyone: Okay.
Person Nobody Likes: ...and the fat--
Everyone: Okay.
Person Nobody Likes: Here's a long explanation of my diet...
Everyone:
Person Nobody Likes: But I wish I could cheat LOL!
Everyone:
Person Nobody Likes: That stuff is so bad for you, you know? But you have fun!
Everyone who has left to go live their lives:
Person Nobody Likes: It's the gluten, you know? I don't know what that is, but it's soooooo baaaaaad.
Crickets who have come out because it's midnight now:
Person Nobody Likes: I cheated and ate an M&M yesterday! I spent an hour at the gym to make up for it but so worth it LOL.
Unfeeling universe:
Person Nobody Likes: Have you tried using cauliflower instead of bread to make a pizza?
Existential dread:
Person Nobody Likes: It tastes exactly the same, and it's sooooo much healthier.
Death itself:
Person Nobody Likes: I'm gonna go drink my soy smoothie now.
Person Nobody Likes: It's a small size.
Person Nobody Likes: Gotta watch my thighs!
Apocalypse, the end of all space and time as we know it, the fathomless void of nothingness:
Person Nobody Likes: BUT YOU ENJOY THAT PIZZA, FRIEND.
29 minutes ago

rexuality:

I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great

54 minutes ago

simplypotterheads:

My favourite part in Order of the Phoenix is when Harry and Sirius are playing hide and seek in the Ministry and Sirius is being silly behind the veil then he jumps out at Harry like “Haha found you!” and then they laugh and high five and go out for ice cream at Fortescue’s.

11 hours ago
14 hours ago
15 hours ago

katiemyladyy:

clashing-oceans:

Why aren’t we talking about Dylan sprouse have you SEEN his tweets?

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GUYS SERIOUSLY 
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G U Y S
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we could have had a singing career.

17 hours ago

17 hours ago

neilnevins:

theladylillibet:

catsidae:

Some things that should be acceptable by now:

  • Girls having sleepovers with boys.
  • Female nipples showing.
  • Marriage equality and equality in general.
  • Doing what you want with your body.
  • Wearing what you want,
  • Kinder eggs in America.

For a second I thought you meant eggs should be nicer to people

well they should anyway

18 hours ago
18 hours ago
20 hours ago
21 hours ago

shouldnt:

that awkward moment when you like the teacher that everyone hates

22 hours ago
22 hours ago
22 hours ago

alexashung:

809212:

what would you say to your 10 year old self

shut up ur like 10

1 day ago